When I said it the last time we see you, sitting on the
corner of the bed and never said anything. He looked blank, as if he had
received the sad news of his life, the deepest, longest and worst of news,
which was to make him miserable life. "But why?" He jumped into a
place for him, "Why now? Why so?". Why hurry, you leave, you come,
why not give him even a chance, why me, why him? Many questions that ought to
be saving for us. But I feel that if even one second sitting around him,
something was going to happen I would have regretted exceedingly sooner or
later. I left, leaving him in the middle of the room with his questions which
had not received a response. I left, not knowing if it was, indeed, the last
time we saw.
Andrew had met long ago. He was a painter, a fairly known
and appreciated, the new generation of artists, and come with an exhibition in
the city where I lived. I had heard of the event and I really wanted to get to
know him, because he was part of the artists that inspired me at the time.
Charismatic, visionary and very talented regularly watch his artistic
development, which influenced my work and me. When I entered the exhibition
hall, he was leaning against a marble column and row his paintings looked like
he tried eyes, put his back frames. I studied in a corner from the entrance,
without dare to enter into conversation with him, not knowing what to say
first. I had seen many times on television, I had heard sometimes broadcasts on
the radio, talking about his art, I admired him even studied his technique, we
take the example of my own attempts to paint but never had had the chance to
see him so close. I walked around the room looking at her paintings, studying
them all carefully, trying to catch them beyond the subtleties of color.
"I'd like to paint at a time, if you'll excuse me. I noticed how you come
in. I think we should meet sooner or later," I heard suddenly a voice
behind me . I turned and I saw his eyes, cold and gray, but I got to the heart.
They included emotions and do not even know now, after all this time, what I
said or even if I said something. I was shocked by addressing it directly.
Nonchalance that amazed me was telling me so directly, all that stuff, I was
just wonderful that I muse that he wanted, even for a single painting. I left
my scarf slide off both shoulders and I joked, fitting us, and touch, and words.
I pretended a little surprised by the courage I had, but I could not rejoice in
myself, that I had chosen just me, of all the women present at the opening, and
there were few who really deserves the attention of a man like him. We've
separated all night, as if standing between us stories happened years and
years. Laugh, debate various topics of interest, and, occasionally, after a
break of a few minutes of silence, he told me the story of many a painting.
Sometimes when sipped champagne, touched me gently on strands of hair,
believing that not noticing, as if he wanted to paint even then, live. Besides
he felt an incredible magnetism, which he never sensed him in the presence of
any man. I was, myself, a budding artist, with barely finished Faculty of Arts,
and he is one of the most successful artists of his generation. It was a
combination of humor and mystery, classic beauty, male, strong hands that
gently create. Tall, brown hair and penetrating eyes, he had a special smell of
men's fragrance mixed with paint and oils, we feel quietly only when it
touches.
I love him even then, that first night, but I oppose any
bit, because I realized that it would be in vain.
My whole being felt floats.
For the first time I conveyed my brain as I have no reason to hold the shields
raised, I had no point in trying to pretend to be something or otherwise. It
was a feeling of complete safety which provides me comfort especially mentally.
I just got carried away, not knowing what will happen in my life. We parted at the
end, with the promise of meeting again sometime, somewhere, without a precise
target. Initially I thought it was a game that will last a few days, where we
pretend that we ignore, and later to review and revisit everything from where
we stopped. Even kiss me before I go. Suddenly on the run, before leaving
without giving me the opportunity to oppose a kiss to us confirm that yes, we
had to meet, sooner or later. I given my phone number, because I asked him, and
now I was just waiting for her to call me. It's been long days, where I was
just thinking to it, it's been nights when we paint from imagination. They have
several situations going on the street when it seemed that I saw and I was very
close to cry. There he called again. After a year, incidentally, unscheduled,
we crossed paths on a railway platform. When I saw him coming on, I had the
same feeling as our first match, coming out of nowhere same emotion, same
incredible magnetism that time is not lost, but become even stronger. I had
time to grab a coffee, waiting for our train, and we promised that if we meet a
third time, all somewhere, sometime, incidentally, will be a clear sign that we
are made for each other. I had the courage then to say I do not want to play,
that I want him, beyond the paintings, genuine as it had shown me the first
night. That no longer willing to wait another year thinking about it, and it's
much easier to dial a phone number than wait for fate to do everything. He
left, and I thought again that it will be a game that will last a few days.
This time, I had asked me phone number, which had given me happy, so I was
thinking that all things will become normal at a time, because if he had not
had the courage to call or, if looked pure and simple, I'll do it. But I do not
I called again.
After another year, I no longer had learned anything about
him, had to participate in a group exhibition of painting in my city. Being an
invitation to an artistic event, I thought several times that it is possible to
reunite, there is even a small chance to see him again, I wanted to talk to
him, and all the way I did was I am going to repeat the lines that would give
them dialogues slightly funny, sometimes profound, which I had with me. We take
into account all the variations in hand that would have occurred with a girl or
wife, and I'm sorry if in a fit of pride I might have missed love of my life.
There, in the end, looking for me to look across the room. He made his way
through people coming up to me, took my hand and said, laughing: "Let's go!".
We left without looking back, leaving behind everything, running on empty
streets at the end of summer.
I woke up next to him in bed in his studio in a loft
downtown. Wrapped in sheets, his skin felt warm hands, ready to devour me. He
occasionally dip your fingers in paint and then next passing them over my body
by painting me with kisses. After two years of waiting, the only fate helps us
meet, and I was face to face. The same magnetism repetitions. Morning
departure, while I was expecting
somewhat of a confirmation of what had
happened between us, something that defines somehow our relationship, I heard
from the mouth of the same words: can we meet somewhere, sometime, if fate will
be our side. Disappointed by his attitude, I said then that it was the last
time we meet. I left, leaving him in the middle of the room with his questions,
which no longer had any sense. I left not knowing if it was, indeed, the last
time we saw. I wanted from him more than a night of love than a coffee drink
every year, I was sick so desperately seeking all figures foreign events and on
the street, tired of waiting for the fuss, so many words that remain, every
time, suspended between me and him. I went straight to the metro station,
thinking I went home, I wanted to forget about artists, exhibitions, and to
remain with my bohemian life and simple. After two hours, when there was very
little and had to leave the house to visit my parents called me. With a soft
voice, playful, he simply said: "Do not go. Not the other, but I still got
you to paint."
We got married after only a month since I first entered his
studio. Meanwhile, in recent years, we have become known both as artists, and
had exhibitions worldwide. I learned with him that often, fate alone is not
enough, because when you're given to meet the right person you have to fight,
we have to struggle and you to move something, however small it be Your
gesture, because only so big moves and things. Many years have passed since our
first meeting, I stayed and now his muse, and he - love of my life, and I
understand both, in the end, you and I should meet sooner or later.
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HAVE A NICE DAY !
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