LOVES OF WOMAN

The first time was he. I was colleagues were kids. I do not know what I felt or not, but I know my mother told me one evening when I was walking through the house with a stupid smile on your face while my thoughts were seized by EL: "Girl, you're in love."

I stopped on the spot and in my mind wandering elsewhere was made like light: it was loved. Is that so? How beautiful !!! I want to love life. In fact, I was so convinced that you will love life. That first love has given me something unique: the first time his hand landed on my hand after my mother when I revealed that I love, I felt .... I felt !!! The unique, unrepeatable, something magnificent, a feeling that I'm looking ever since and although I have not lived ever the same, is as alive in every cell of my being. And that first love taught me this: how much and may feel intense.

Then came the turn of a hidden love, unrequited and forbidden. Now I wonder who it should allow me? I do not know the answer, but then I was sure I'm not allowed. And I loved him so secretly, about 2 years, feeding me furtive glances thrown in the shadow of old friends that I could not pass over. Every time I heard the voice of flesh creep me, I felt an enervating heat that emanated from my chest, though. When I gently touched the first time I ran scared. Why? I do not know, but I know that this love has taught me that I can love without me wanting anything in return. He learned that what you feel is somehow a chemical reaction that makes your body good.

Years later he met another. For the first time, I was drawn to a body tan and green eyes like the sea and for the first time, yes even for the first time I discovered physical love. And I learned to love it to grow, to wait,

to compromise, to give and to ask back. I learned how hard it is to love a man different from you and how beautiful it is to love a man different from you ... With this love, I learned to make my plans for the future, to cook and enjoy food cooked by him. And I saw the pragmatics of love. I learned that deep love fills you as a person.

Another love that I remember fondly is intense and ardent love, the love that lasted only one night and burned all without worrying about the name, social conventions, and other risks. In that night, I learned to admit to myself that are primarily female. Three days after, I was somewhere in a realm neighbor sickness and madness, did not eat, did not talk and I felt that I could not get out of bed. He passed as suddenly as it came, but I learned that love has nothing to do with what you know, what you want, or what you think, as you may love it or leave it, love one can live their whole life in one day.

In another day I met ... with me. Just as I was one that I could reach was an "I" twisted, like a reflection in a water wave with something extra, something in minus. It took a short period where I needed to rediscover myself, to bring back to the surface things that tormented me than to "hide" from myself, to pretend does not exist. I learned that sometimes you need to go just for a short time and do not need to explain why that love comes sometimes in the wrong place or the wrong time. I learned that sometimes love lasts the life of a butterfly as it comes as an arrow and "wound" heals quickly. And sometimes, though not love, we love to call so and so is love.

And obviously, I have to say about loving those who go by. Loves those, probably as intense or burning, that we enjoy without knowing who we are bestowed upon us without our care. Sometimes we see, and we know that by this simple fact we do to become more powerful. Sometimes not even know that we exist and thus defend them because love can not forcibly is not it? Loves it taught me again that love can exist only in one respect, that no matter who you are and what you do, you have loved to adoration, and certainly deserve that at least one second in his life feels like you source and destination of a deep love. I learned that people can trample love so deep, and when you'll be at the heart trampled, you'll understand even as possible.

In life, there comes a time when, wherever you were convinced that that's what you feel, do you know that you can feel more or otherwise and go to look for that love, unique and final total.

You committed and now you know that love is not only light and lightning hidden corners of the heart, now love is entwined with everything else that you compose. You learn that time is part of you. Same work and nights and the pain and rain. You learn as neighbors, parents, siblings, and peers are somehow part of you and all that come finally to somehow weave your love. Time can learn the most important lesson about how a heart split into as many pieces at the same time taking care to remain whole, about how your love can be born other love, perfect life unique.

I recently discovered that for me always loves were added without any stop. And so now love more than ever and forever that everyone I ever loved whether it was for an hour, a month or a decade life. And I want to thank all those who have taught me so much about love before and those who have made me feel so much.

And the journey has not been completed yet ...

photo credit: google.com

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