A MAN IN LOVE

My name is Jeff Stanton and living in Colorado. My life so far has given me many joys, but with time remembering those joys are becoming drier. And that perhaps is the expression that never felt fulfilled.

My joys are transient had "roots" strong enough to stay in my conscience and to turn into "pillars" on which the platform can support rewarding lives.


I gave up almost everything in life, to see what may remain. I loved much, sometimes blindly, sometimes boundless. I loved adored women who have, in turn, to exhaustion, sometimes wrong I loved, not knowing when and how to stop, I loved the beautiful and sometimes I burned with desire, often turning into days and days into nights battlefield. I fell when I reached the end, thinking that my life ends abruptly, with no escape, after one painful parting, and then I lived on air and music when I fall in love again. I understood later after I had anything, that love is not about winning and demonstrate that, not you, not others, because you do not need more than a simple moment of connection dear person. Often, when I least expected me all the walls collapsed, burying me and crush me under his weight of disappointments, but somehow, I do not know how, I always found the strength to resurface. So I learned to want to love without expecting something in return, without absurd demands and no boundaries whatsoever. And now, because I do not claim that my wishes be fulfilled at all costs and not hurt me so bad after I gave up almost everything in life, I got to know exactly what I want. I live pretty stubborn and not give to believe in love, and in matches the destiny and soon, when I thought that can not be humanly possible when I think I have finished all the resources, and heart and feeling, and power, I fell in love again. I have come to believe and to love beyond all earthly things. I fell in love with the woman who was with me a long time, they know as well as I know myself, which I memorized by heart, as I would have looked in the mirror. When I met many years ago, our lives intersected too little to matter, because each lived in his world, arranged like a colorful decoration of a play. Just look, the look was the same each time between her and me, as if our eyes only eyes and nothing else, only knew that somewhere far away in the future, over the years, will change everything around, the whole world will twist, and bring us both face to face. I have long been good friends, we have swirled around each other, looking for us, and we had to go through a lot both, first learn what we do not want, that we realize, then, what we want from each other. I was next to her when she married, sheltering her eyes and rejoicing for her, just as I was next to her, over some years, the collapse of marriage, when her life changed completely. For my part, I cried on her shoulder every disappointment suffered in love and sought solace in her presence and gestures. I both shared the same life somehow, for years, binding us to each other only by sight.

I have never talked to us in words, we called and called our relationship, we have not played with the definitions because we do not need because often we talk of eyes and enough.


Her name is Brenda and makes me want to go after her until the end of the world. No, I never said I love her, but I think he knows. Her name Brenda and made me write now, after many years I know these lines:

                         "My dear,

I write with heart, I write with blood, his hands, I write down, covering my face sheet with pictures and words that I never got to tell you. I write to you now as much as I write, in fact, to me, and I call. And maybe if we scream loud, mind, and with all my being, you'll come. You have to live for real, dragging you all the disappointments and desires and plans which I have done in a lifetime. You come because you call. You come because you, of all people, you'll know to stay to the end. And maybe you will not live to teach me and me not to run when you have to sit, and not stand when it should actually go. You come for the two of us, you and me, we complement each other. You come to a point because you know how I know that we belong to one another, you're mine completely, now and always. My dear, I share every day between fear of you have ever way I want, and fear of doing something wrong, that does not bring us together. When you look with your eyes, mind, and heart, as I see no one saw you, I see you all, authentic, simple and beautiful. I see flesh and soul together, I see sadness and hope, life and tears see you, see you. My dear, you have to come, I hope to live, and when you come, I will kiss. I'll take your head in my hands and I kiss you on the forehead first, then mouth, as does some time in my head. I will kiss on the eyes, the eyes with which you knew to see me, then hands that you held to not fall and that all thou hast lifted when I fell. Then I'll kiss every word I say it and I hear that earlobe from across the world, between you and me when space is worthless.
My dear, I write with mind and body, I write thinking, which is always late, towards you. I write with lips and fingers that I would reach the whole body when you sleep.
My dear, I write with tears, my tears spilled, which carry with them the pain of my past, I write with tears of joy, left behind by the emotions that come from you. I write with tears of revolt and anger when they feel too hard to wall between us. I hope to live for, of all women, just you know to leave without being afraid that you will not find me when you return. I hope to live to heal your wounds from which you can not reach, and you heal my wounds still do not know they have it.
My dear, I call you now, as I have never done it, you cry with every breath and all my heartbeat. And if you come, and I hope to live, I do not promise anything you can not give you one you do not promise anything but me. I gave up almost everything in life, to see what may remain. I just want you. Do not freak out, no beginning and no end.

I wait and call you. I hope to come ...

I know it takes courage, but I will be with you until the end ............. and can more afterward. "




                                                      Photo credit: google.com

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